Duels of the Heart
by ChibiHarika
Summary: Yami, don't you lie to me about hatred!" "Lying? No, Seto. I hate you with every breath I take, with every insult thrown back, with every heart beat that passes by. And you know what? What I hate the most is the fact that I hate you."
1. Hatred

Duels of the Heart

A/N

Oh, so sad!

Warnings/Notes: Shounen-ai Seto/Yami. 5-shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO!

Summary: "Yami, don't fucking lie to me about hate! I know you love me…" "No, Seto! I _truly _hate you! Everything about you! I hate the fights, the quarrels, and the duels against one another! I hate the feeling deep in my heart that I hold only for you! And I hate it… I hate that love I reserve for you…"

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Hatred…

An emotion so strong it can eat you alive from the inside out. Depending on where you hold that hate, how you hold it, and why you even have it in the first place. The emotion that I so very feel for you. You're not only my rival, or my peer, my classmate or my former high priest, but my very hatred itself. The damn emotion welling up inside of me that I can't even fucking control, the hatred that burns in my eyes like a dancing raging fire. And all you do is feed that fire with yourself. Everything about you. Your perfectly arranged silky hair that I so hate, the perfect eyes that could demand respect and clearly show superiority towards others. I once was like that. I _once was_…

Being the Pharaoh of Egypt, and you, my high priest. I respected the fact that you didn't cower under my gaze, or give up all you fought for from just one defeat. But I hated it as well. I despised every fiber of your being, every stare that you didn't back down from, and every duel you did not give up. You challenged me, over and over and over again to the point that I didn't as much _look_ at you with the confidence I always had. To the point that I myself never even threw the insults back at your face. That I didn't recollect that triumphant smirk your supple lips were brought up in when you destroyed one of my monsters. That I didn't even as much as _try_ to win. That I didn't even care if I achieved my usual victory or not. To be blunt, I just didn't care about anything anymore.

In our clashes of never ending repetition of rematches, you constantly had that determination within your soul to overpower me. _Constantly_.

Your gaze always showed that lethal glint that I had lost long ago. Those emotions that I felt no more. You became what I was, and what I now so loathe in this lifetime. But it _hurt_…it hurt_ so_ much… so damn fucking much…

I know you think of hate as a mere insult. But did you know? Did you _really_? I hate you with every breath I take, I want you to _know_, truly know that I hate you. Not the hate rivals have, but pure undeniable hate. I want you to feel the emotion radiate from me, to make you tremble with the strong emotion bursting throughout my entire being. To look into my eyes and return the stare in fear. Or maybe you would like to return the same feeling…?

You, as well as I, infrequently express our emotions through our façade. Deny that mask? I think not. You definitely know of the walls we both place up. I even have secrets I never tell my Aibou. So, how would I have knowledge of the genuine feelings you hold for me? How would I know what to expect from you. Hatred is an unexpected thing, but you yourself is my hatred. So I conclude with confirmation, that you yourself is unpredictable. But that just makes me hate you even more. The hatred is so overwhelming I can't help but speak out my thoughts. My heart clenches and twist with every word I breathe out to you, but all you do is smirk that infamous smirk. And oh, how I hated it…

But hate is just a reaction of the emotion the hate masks. Like ourselves, we mask our emotions from ones around us, and my emotions are masked with others. Emotions take time to understand, but I have been waiting for over three millennia and still have no knowledge of the certain emotion my hatred masks. But, oh, aren't you the one masking it? As you are my hate, you are masking my emotion, as well, you hold it deep in your heart as I suppose you mask your very own emotions as well. Would the emotion our hate dominates be the same? The twin of each other, a reflection of what we truly feel deep down?

Sometimes I wonder if it's an obsession, as you are obsessed with the goal of defeating me one day while I smirk at you, my foe, in our endless duels. But obsession can lead to so many things. Lust, insanity, mood swings as well as many others. But if that was true, what would our obsessions lead to? Do you wonder in the peace and solitude of your inward mind? Or when you are all alone? Or the times we face each other in an emotionally dangerous battle?

But subsequently, I felt defeat from my own hatred's hands, and I _hated_ it…But you didn't smirk like I thought you would. You didn't look at me in disgust, but only in wonder and surprise. You didn't speak with that low and smooth voice that I detested with all my tainted black heart. But I _craved_ for it all the while. And I looked past the things I expected to the unexpected, which was you. _Again_…

Your brows furrowed together in deep thought, confusion etched in your flawless features. Time was passing by quickly as you stared into my uninterested eyes, as if anticipating a reaction from me. What did you anyhow? Me sobbing on the ground with shame and hopelessness. Did you think so pathetic of me? Did you _really_?

I would've smiled, I should've smiled, but I just stared at you. I supposed my expression wasn't one that satisfied the perfect bishounen of Japan, as you glared at me with ice. I mused to the thought of ice on fire was impossible. But it looks like I was mistaken. _Again_.

And I still _hated_ it so much. I hated the fact that I hated you and everything about you. I hated that I feel indescribable emotions for you. I hate the duels we face against one another. I hate it that I give the impression of hating you in the first place. I hate that hole in my heart that formed at the first moment of settling eyes on you. The emptiness and longing--I felt incomplete. And it was because of you that I suffer this way.

And I _hated _it.

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Cool! I typed this in 20 minutes! Maybe I should update more then… --; Anyways, tell me what you think! It's so emotionally dramatic, ne? Hehe. Also, check out my other one-shots I'm posting today! OO;;; It's a lot… about 5 one-shots I think, 1 five-shots is this one, and 3 two-shots as well as 2 continuation fictions. Hope to see lots of reviews in my mailbox by tomorrow!

Ja ne and RR!

Harika Huynh


	2. Death

Duels of the Heart

Author's Notes:

I received nice comments out there for the first chapter... I'm surprised that I got 5 reviews for the first day... Even though it was err... emotional. ; I got a lot of comments about Yami and his hatred as well as surprised comments at how he hates...just... OO;;; everything. I guess I got carried away... I assume people would see him as OOC in this too. Anyways, replying time!

Reviewers' Replies:

**. Zelia Theb** . Arigatou gozaimasu! Yes, it is odd, and you're right. It's a new side of him completely. I wanted to try to bring out a dark side of him... . ; And of course we don't really see a dark and sadistic Yami on television, now do we? So... we really would know if this is actually a "new side", maybe just a side he never revealed before.

**darker light** .;;;;;;;;;; Eh heh heh... Well, I guess you like hate, ne? Yeah... it's a bit weird he hates a lot of things... but, you're not complaining, are ya? Also, thank you!!

**. Kawaii Chibi Yami **Ah, first of all, just let me say I adore your pen name! Beams Very cute! Thank you! Oh, the summary? Well, actually... ; it IS suppose to be 'I hate you'. Remember, like I said in the last chapter, that his hate is masking another emotion. . Think about it.

**. Starlit Hope** If you think it like that, .; yes, in a specific way. Heh, anyways, arigatou gozaimasu for reviewing!

**. Dragonite Konacko Himura **. Arigatou! Trademark run tackle chibi glomp I'm quite honored that you reviewed first! Thank you so much and here's a Yami plushie for the first review for this! Hands Yami plushie to Dragonite

Disclaimer: I don't own YGO!

Summary: If someone related to me had died, but I had not known them, would I cry? Would I cry tears of pain and sadness? For someone dear and close to me? No... I would cry, but I would cry for someone I did not know. I would cry for a stranger.

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_Death..._

Death is a release of pain, to people who wish for it to come. They would end their life quickly with a smile, glad that they would not be grieved anymore in their horrific life. But how wrong they are, how terribly wrong...

I've lived for over three millennia, not physically of course, but in soul. And has my pain ever ended? I have no knowledge of my past, and so I don't recall my death. But I do reminisce the desperately desired relief that washed over me. But I guess my relief didn't last long.

But If I should recall... you've killed me more times than I could count. Stabbed me in the heart with every word you spoke, tore my soul with every glare I received. You killed my sanity that I had lost years ago, you killed my heart that keeps on breaking, and killed my emotions that I no longer show, even to Yugi and his friends. Unintentionally? Maybe, but even though, it hurt just to even _look_ at you.

Why did I even accept all those duels, to know I would win them anyways? Just because I knew that one day I would develop a sickness towards it, that I knew you could end my reign as King of Games, and as well, myself? Defeat was the very eyes of death itself, experiencing it would be like driving a katana through your abdomen. Death must be more pleasant than defeat, because with defeat, you live on with the disgrace and hopelessness of a loser. While in death, you can live with it, while not living at all. But, some people, who bear a strong will, would overcome their defeat, and strive to be the victor once again.

But defeat can do so much to people. Drive them into insanity, hallucinations, and even nightmares; repeating and seeing, reliving that moment of defeat over and over again. That is why defeat is worst than death. But I experienced both with the same amount of pain, by the same person and by the same hands. Which was you. Time was passing by, and as the people I held so dear to me grew older, I stayed young but aged the same time. Life and death was so cruel to me... Letting me live all the while dead physically and spiritually. I still have my spirit, but it had died a long time ago. Sometimes I wished I didn't exist. Ever. Maybe in my former life I committed suicide to escape from the never ending torment that had devoured my every being. But that would be so selfish. I was Pharaoh, and I couldn't throw away my life while others' were at stake. It isn't like me. Or at least, isn't like the person everyone _assumes_ to be me.

Do you assume I am like this? The big hero, the one who cares for everything and everyone? If someone related to me had died, but I had not known them, would I cry? Would I cry tears of pain and sadness? For someone dear and close to me? No... I would cry, but I would cry for someone I did not know. I would cry for a stranger. So if I died, would my friends cry for me? Would you cry for me? Or would they cry for the stranger they think is me?

I died now, once again. But you don't know, so you do not cry. But when you find out, will you cry for me? Will you cry for the soul that died today, by your hands, without knowledge you had? Of guilt, pain of loss, or even happiness? No... you don't, so you stare me down like you do now. Do you say anything, yes you do, but I'm not listening. Can the dead listen to anything of the living? I don't know, so I do not talk. I do not listen. And I do not care.

"...so why are you doing this to yourself?"

Are you worried about me? _Actually_ worried? You don't look it, you don't sound it, but the words are still there. And it _hurts_ me.

My head is hung down, and you cannot see my eyes. My weakness. I cannot see you either, and regret that I cannot.

"'Yugi..."

You say my name, and that is the only thing I hear. My name, the one that I take of, the one that is _not_ me. The one that everyone _thinks_ is me... I am angered, and I still do not show it. My head is still hung down, and I still do not look at you.

"My name... my name... is _Yami_..."

I didn't know how close you were to me, how much you meant to me, how much you cared, until I felt you stroke that one tear I did not know I had shed. 1

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1 Damn that's a long sentence. Cough It's part of another "Quote Fic" of mine. . You... do... know what a "Quote Fic" is, ne? A Quote Fic is a fiction or fan fiction I make both that is based on a quote and or all about it.

I sooooooooo love this chapter. Please give good feedback.

Ja matane,

Harika


	3. Acting

**Duels of the Heart**

Author's Notes:

Yeah... no internet still...

Warnings/Notes: Yaoi... darkfic... same crap.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Summary: Can't you just for once close the curtains and stop acting just for once? Just for me?

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Side note: I'm listening to Voice, YGO's 3rd opening, just wondering, is it _normal_ to listen to a cheery happy song while writing a dark fiction? . -- . didn't think so... Man, I suck...

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_Acting_...

Acting can be a form of entertainment, or it can be the form of one's very own life. Yet, your acting is not entertainment, it is the pain and suffering, the reality that will never come to exist in your eyes. 1

You act because you feel that, if that one thing you desire can never happen, you yourself will never happen. You don't act for people's enjoyment, you act for the torment that will surface from our depths, and you _enjoy_ that torment.

Is your life all really so dependant on acting? A complex game you designed for yourself, for your life? That you can only figure out and win for yourself? Ever since I met you, I had strived to figure out your _game_. It was my goal, it _was_ my life... No one sees how _I_ am so dependant on _you_. I don't have anything to live for except to protect my friends. But you actually _give_ me a reason to continue to live on in this cruel world. You, my rival, has given me something no one else _can_ give me. You gave me hope, courage, and even _life. _You made me what I am now, you made and helped me in ways no one else can hardly understand how. But with you increasingly getting busier and busier with your acting, I wonder, will you have any roles left for me in your game?

I cry in your hand that has remained on my face, and wonder again how long we had stayed in this position. How long you had whispered words to me, how long you had actually _tried _to comfort me. I still don't look up, my eyes burning from the overflowing tears you desperately try to wipe away. My body feels numb, but it doesn't block the warmth of your body holding and cradling mine. I vaguely wonder why you are doing this, before I allow myself to fall asleep in your arms, and fall in love with you once more.

"...my fallen angel, cry to me..."

And those were the words that were ushered from your lips, the same words I treasured, and the same words I despised.

My heart broke that moment once again, but I do not worry, for I know, I'll fall in love with you once more.

So until then, let me cry silently as I sleep in the arms of the one I hate, and the one I love so dearly.

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1 . Damn that is _one_ damn confusing sentence. I have no idea what that meant when I typed it, in fact, I still don't know. --;

Sowwie... I know, short chapter, but I know a _lot_ of people wrote stories about life being a game. I didn't want to be like them... and write a chapter someone has already read/seen, so I added acting in it but it didn't help very much, so it's short.... I apologize, but the next chapter is much longer! .;;; Eh heh heh...


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